Dodgeball: a True Lauren Pockl Story

Today was sports day for us TaLK scholars.  Each class (there were eight total) competed against each other in Dodgeball and a relay race (there was also a human rope but that was stupid so I don't talk about it).  We naturally selected the name Dream-u team to instill fear in our enemies as well as remind us all of how great America is at things.  Let me tell you friends, we lived up to our expectations.  After two thrilling matches, Dream-u team displayed its dominance and made it to the championship game.  There was a catch however; only the girls could play in the championship game.  Though most would think this would make it a less than desirable thing to watch, we had a secret weapon who was later given the nick name "cannon" and would go on to become a legendary dodgeballer for TaLK scholars to talk of for generations.  In case it isn't obvious by now, it was Lauren.  Not only did she manage to catch and intercept any ball that came her way, but she single handedly took down at least a third of the other team.  Now you may think I'm exaggerating a bit and a little bias, but not only did she receive a cheer and a shotgun solute from our whole team, she also was congratulated by the MC of the evening for her performance.  Way to represent for America Lauren and please don't ever throw things at me when I make you mad (she was inches away from breaking two girls faces).  Unfortunately due to some faulty point systems and the bogus human rope, team Dream-u finished in a dismal second.  Though team Dream-u may never be spoken of again, there is not a person on this campus who wouldn't quiver in fear at the sight of Lauren with a dodgeball in her hand.